people...

for the past few years or so...with a few pitfalls in between...

I have been thoroughly unimpressed by the people in this city, state, country, continent, world we all live in. Now I'm not speaking generally...I'm speaking purely romantically.

I have not had a crush, a serious: "uh oh."-crush in YEARS.

I have sincerely forgotten the impact one special person can make on my life...I've been so content with my career and self that it hasn't really even crossed my mind as something to spend time even considering...

But what I think the point of these feelings are, as they have nowhere to go or manifest really, is human connection in general.

I spend my life inhabiting the shells of imaginary people, stepping into shoes foreign, and considering every aspect of another's life...and yet, I have to admit I have no connection to my fellow world-citizens. And what's even more scary is: I thought I did. :/

I thought for sure, this career MEANS I have a serious connection to all people...but I forgot about love. for a second (years.)

And what am I feeling now, for a person, for any person...? love. acceptance. I am complimentng people I would normally chastize only to be funny, but we all know 50% of all jokes are true, and in my case close to 80%...I like to push the boundary a little, shake things up. ;)

But yeah. So maybe it might be one person, one adorable, subtly lisped, came out of nowhere, person...but in fear for my libra-heart, I shall remain general about it. them. her.

Here's to remembering connection, not out of nostalgia, but out of presence. I am thankful for the world deciding that I need this lesson now, in all honesty...in a strange way I wish I'd never have to admit to myself or otherwise, I had given up on.

Naturally as a libra, I am being tortured with how to go about this new discovery...but for once in my life, a strong part of me is okay with the uncertainty of it all, I finally have embraced living in the moment...not as an acting exercise either but as an honest to god human state of mind. which is all scary and exciting...growth, man. Can't ask for much more than that: growth.

And whether I feel pain or pleasure in the ol' ticker...I am so fucking happy to be feeling. Remember that? The feelings? ugh...no more deadness...it is saturated with life. thank you!

I feel great. I do. inside and out, motivated, caught in a spotlight I truly feel I had nothing to do with. but I'm dancin', man...I tell ya, I'm doing the watusi!

So, whatever happens: happens. I'm in a romantic mood of sorts...so please do not question my love and affection for any of you in the next couple of months: A. it's creepin' up on the holidays and I'm a true sucker for that crap, and B. I just noticed you. And everyone deserves to be noticed.

Human connection. attraction. for you. it. them. her.

can't help it. I love, I just remembered...