"Real" life...

So this is it, huh?

The life's-not-fair-shit-happens-trust-no-one "Real life" people are always talking about...

I always heard tell of it, it would sweep down every once in a while like overcast, start drizzling...but then in my world, the clouds would part and there'd be a sun shower. which we all know trumps a plain, clear and sunny sky just out of shear whimsy!

There was lightning today in my world...don't get me wrong, I've seen the lightning, but it was always dim, flashing behind protective clouds...and this metaphor is hurting my brain...

Anyway...yeah some shit went down. Yes, I love what I do and I thank whatever force is governing this universe that I actually have the opportunity to follow my heart into career and life...but it's much more than just loving it. Call me naive, call me green...but why can't I just do it? Why all the games and up and down and wait and sorry and just lack of communication!

We are in the business of emotions so what's with the passive aggression??

But you know what?

I'm a Libra...and I'm going to find a lesson in this, and I'm going to reel in my optimism to balance this out...

And I didn't even have to try. Not that I'm going the route of the victim, but most sincerely...there was a time in my life when I literally couldn't think of who to call, no best friends to speak of...or anyone I ever would have thought to care about me. (Now that just sounds wrong, I have wonderful parents, and family, I'm talking about friends...) And I seem to go in and out of these phases...but no other friend-rich experience has been so overwhelmingly sincere. Or unconditional. Which is weird because most of these people are colleagues too...

So thank you to everyone I talked to tonight. I love you more than you will ever know...I am certain that life has specifically lead me here, if not just to meet you fine, fine people.

Two very specific and literal figures of speech (...I guess you could say; one of them was from a fortune cookie) have been following me around recently:

1. Everything Happens for a Reason (duh)

and

2. You will have setbacks early in life...

Silly me, I literally had a thought the other day that maybe, JUST maybe the "early" was finally behind me...and now I'm starting to pick up steam...jumped the gun a bit, huh? After all I am only 23 (24 in a month) which apparently is old these days to some...but that's still pretty "early" in life I had to remind myself...or rather had to cling to when shit went down. I'm cool with that. It's not like I ever planned to stop working for it at any point in the distant future even...

Ah well...chock it up to experience. Which is like a new tube of paint, or a newly strung violin to my chosen medium...and like my boss said earlier this week..."it builds character" and I hope I never stop building or playing characters...in my life and on stage.

and that's my peace for tonight...oh and still haven't gotten that answer...keep 'em crossed for me, Universe...I did my very best.