This doesn't have a lot to do with my career, but it has everything to do with me. So...carry on:
But for those 10 minutes...I see red and I am offended, appalled, and somehow find a way to victimize myself and by "myself," I mean: "everything good in the world."
The things in this category could be ANYTHING...from what someone's wearing...to, I don't know, people who manage to make it to 20-something years old without SOMEONE telling them they are incomprehensibly annoying and absolutely unlikable...to name a few...
in the case of the latter...I usually spend weeks in misery, at least when they're around me...and I try to make it my personal mission to let them know they are not okay in EVERY way but telling them that exactly to their faces. It's kind of exhausting...
and I received some harsh criticism today when I confided in my boss my feelings on the subject, and this particular socially-inept individual...he said:
"that's kind of arrogant to think that whatever you could say to them would change their ways."
Was he right? Probably. But my argument was that, if I don't do it, who will? Clearly no one's done it yet, and the lack of truth is what I call negligence on the part of everyone they've ever encountered...because for some crazy reason I think I know how people should behave. THAT, I agree, is a little arrogant...but I haven't necessarily been wrong yet...
Sure, I'm mean, by some people's standards...but that's only because my standards for people is higher than most...and I'm never just outwardly mean...I almost always get a laugh out of it...and if I don't then I think long and hard and usually come to the conclusion that I was wrong, and feel really guilty about it, resulting in a sincere apology...if the person was privy to my display, or if they heard about it...(fucking grapevine...) So...I have a heart, and it works.
But man...sometimes I'm not ok with just letting people slide. And if it comes to people involved in Theater...Fogetta bout it!
It might be elitist, it might be snobby...but I consider it integrity, for what I have found I can't live without doing, for a planet on which I'm proud to live, and most of all for the race I belong to...and when all that goes to absolute shit, and people are NOT confronted with their bull shit, their insecurity, and the possibility of being better and HUMBLE (INCLUDING MYSELF! always including myself...) I mean... did we learn NOTHING from the 80's???
All I'm saying is...if you're fat...be better....if you're annoying, shut up, think...and be better...if you think you know everything, you don't, no one does, humble yourself...and BE BETTER! LISTEN to the world around you and be humbled by it...admit you're wrong, it feels great sometimes...if indeed you are. I promise, your friends will stick by you and forget about it. Not the end of the world...
So let's all just BE BETTER, HUMBLED, and CURIOUS...if you're doing theatre for lame reasons like: you want attention, or you think it gives you license to be a freak...just effing stop it. There are real people busting their asses to bring important issues to the forefront of society, to change the way people think about the world and the people around them. And of course sometimes, it's just fun, but still, it's a selfless act to want to bring entertainment to people in their time of need...and there's always someone in need of a laugh, smile...cry...what have you...
So get over yourselves...consider a tree, consider a mountain...an ocean...and consider how you can fit into and uphold the perfection and magnificence of the physical world in which we live and share.
Spent. Whew.
so. hmmm. where to start. me, just a few years ago, would be caught saying the same exact thing. But then more then just one boss called me out on my bullshit psycho analysis. More then one person blew me off. More then one person made me face my own personal faults head on and deal with all of the ways that I really suck. I have spent that past several years strugling with...well, me. With my personality that at times is overbearing, a know it all, an annoying, obnoxious attention grabber. And trust me, I HATE those things about my self (most of the time...sometimes I'm a kick ass s.o.b. because of those things) but you know what? Thats who I am. That's my personality and while I really try to be aware of the obnoxious, annoying shit that comes out of my mouth, that doesn't change the fact that I'm an obnoxious, annoying person. Any I still have friends. And people love me. And respect me. But not everyone. But thats ok.
ReplyDeleteBut you don't know everything either. (And I'm sure that you're venting about one person here, and that certainly isn't me because I really don't know when the last time we saw each other was) But consider taking the high road. The next time you're at work and this person is annoying the shit out of you, try for 10 seconds to be in their head...you think they know how annoying they are? Probably. People aren't stupid. They know when they aren't liked. So consider your message delivered. Then breath in, breath out and let them go. It's not easy. But that person is only eating away at your skin because you let them.
There is a great quote, and I have no idea who said it but it goes "when you hate you only hurt yourself because most of the people you hate don't know and the others don't care"
And also, you might be annoying the shit out of her, too.
simply put - i dont like to talk to people that i deem stupid, and i generally let them know that i think they are stupid and thats why i dont want to talk to them. so, i think i agree with what youre saying. if we dont let them know, they will just continue irritating the rest of the world. we cant let that happen.
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